Would the Holidays Happen Without the Women?

The Sights and Sounds of Christmas

The gifts are flawlessly wrapped and nestled under the glistening tree. Stockings hang neatly above the flickering fireplace. In the next room, the men—dad, grandpa, uncles, brothers—are fast asleep in front of the TV. Meanwhile, the women—mom, grandma, sisters, aunties—are bustling about, adding the final touches to holiday preparations: stuffing stockings, prepping food, and setting out milk, cookies, and carrots for Santa and his reindeer. (Though let’s be honest—dad and grandpa might find those snacks long before Rudolph and St. Nick arrive.)

Would the magic of Christmas truly happen without the invisible labor women take on to make the holidays perfect?

While most family members are perfectly capable of keeping traditions alive, it’s often the women who bear the bulk of the work. Why? Because somewhere along the way, it became expected—and because we’ve never challenged it.

For many women, the thought of a less-than-magical Christmas for their children sparks mom guilt. Add to that the mental load of planning, shopping, baking, cooking, decorating (the list never ends), and what’s meant to be a season of joy becomes one of stress, overwhelm, and burnout.

In this post, we’ll explore the hidden causes of holiday burnout and how we can create a season that’s magical for everyone—including the women who make it all happen.

How it Starts:

As everyone sits down to Christmas dinner, it’s rarely discussed how it all got there. Whose hands prepared the feast? Whose time and energy went into sourcing and providing the food? Was the ham or turkey raised on the family farm or picked up from the shop down the street? Are the pickles and mashed potatoes straight from Grandma’s garden? And that pumpkin pie—was it baked from scratch with love or rushed together from store-bought ingredients after a long day of errands?

The magic of the holidays often lies in these small, thoughtful details—the traditions, recipes, and stories passed down from generation to generation. But let’s be honest: behind all this holiday magic is often one person (or a group of people) who make it happen. And more often than not, that person is usually a woman.

So, Where Does the Magic Come From?

Have you ever stopped to think about where all the time, energy, and love needed to create holiday magic comes from? For decades—perhaps even centuries—women have been at the heart of it all. Whether by choice or societal expectation, they’ve shouldered the responsibility of making the season special: caring for the home, preparing feasts, and nurturing children’s dreams of holiday wonder.

It’s a beautiful tradition in many ways, but it’s also a demanding one. The glittering decorations, perfectly wrapped gifts, and endless trays of cookies don’t just appear out of thin air—they’re the result of long hours, careful planning, and a whole lot of heart. And while these efforts bring joy to families, they can also take a toll on the women who make it happen.

All I want for Christmas is My Mental Health...

Women are predominantly responsible for the unnoticed mental load of the holidays; women usually manage the shopping, decorating, inviting, meal prep and more around the holidays. This is not only exhausting, but it is overwhelming, stressful and can lead to burnout and anxiety over finances and not being able to provide the perfect holiday.

It is still no secret that in western society, women tend to be the lower household income earner, but carry most of the household responsibilities. The mental exhaustion of Christmas not only leaves women mentally drained, but their finances wanting as well.

Women are often the peacekeepers and mediators of their families as well. On top of the responsibility of providing the perfect Christmas, women are often responsible for de-escalating conflict among family members who don't get along, leaving them with less time--and desire-- to enjoy the holiday spirit! With work and family obligations, this not only leaves women exhausted and burned out but often resentful that they are predominantly responsible for preparing the meals, shopping for the gifts and keeping everything peaceful between family at the holidays, leaving little time for self-care.

We've heard it so many times before: you can't pour from an empty cup, and yet women and their cups run on empty all season long...even though it is supposed to be one of reflection, slowing down, peace and joy. How are the people responsible for the magic of the holidays supposed to engage in self-care? Drawing boundaries with family members and yourself is the first place to start. Grandpa wants a roasted, stuffed turkey, but doesn't want to cook it? Make an agreement with yourself that it's ok to not spread yourself too thin and please everyone. Delegate tasks if you need to. Come up with an alternative--like a ham instead or deconstructed turkey with stove-top stuffing--that honours your time and allows you to spend the time you would be spending on cooking with your loved ones. If someone doesn't like it, suggest they host next year, or pitch in to take the load off of one person or family.

Conclusion:

Holidays are meant to be peaceful. While it is exhausting and draining to host, entertain, shop, cook, decorate and all of the things that make the season magical, remember that your time and mental health are important, and that any woman reading this cannot provide the holidays of your dreams (forget anyone else's) if you pour from an empty cup. Make sure to give yourself time to spend with family, draw boundaries about what you are willing to do and what you are willing not to do that will honour and respect your time, efforts and energy level. Happiness is everyone's responsibility. Make sure everyone is contributing to their own happiness and fulfilling their own Christmas wishes by pitching in to make it a reality. Christmas is meant to be a peaceful and joyful occasion--including for the women who make it all happen.

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